Just because you were told "No" doesn't mean there is something wrong with you...
Why do we always see the word "No" as being a bad thing or so final?
Why do we let "No" destroy us and shut us down?
What is the power of the word "No" that we just can't seem to get over or deal with?
First thing we need to do is realize that "No" is just a word. It's just like any other word in the dictionary, the only true meaning it has is the mean we give it.
An example of this would be words like "Love", "Pain", "Emotions", or "Happiness". What are the definitions of these words in the dictionary?
How do these words make you feel?
What do these words mean to you?
Do you think those words make everyone who hears them, reads them, or sees them feel the same way? No, they don’t.
Each of these words can mean many different things to many different people.
These words can even mean different things to you at different points in your own life.
So why does the word "No" need to be a negative thing? Or the end of something? That's right it doesn't have to be.
We have always associated “No” with being a negative word because that is how we were raised to see it and to associate with it. Is the word “No” always the end, not even close.
The reason it’s often the end to something is because that is the way “We” ourselves look at it. We are the ones who choose to let it be the end all be all of the interaction.
Why would you shut down at the word "No"? Why do we do this, what’s the point of just shutting down and being defeated? There isn’t a point, that’s the problem.
Once you realize that the only person who can ever shut “You” down or defeat “You” is actually only “You” then that is the day that “No” starts to lose its power over you.
Why would you stop at the word "No"? There is no reason to stop at something when you hear the word “No”.
That “No” can mean many things it could mean that now isn’t the time to talk about this, but you need to come back to this again at a later time.
It could mean that you are talking to the wrong person to get the “Yes” you are after.
It could mean I don’t think you are serious about this request and I want to see if you are willing to keep going in the face of adversity to get what you desire.
Don’t let a word ever stop you, use it as a point to re-evaluate and to pivot not to let it stop you.
Why do you accept the word "No" and just look down and walk away all beaten? There is no reason I can see for this.
When you look down and feel beaten because of the word “No” then you need to realize that it is “You” who has just accepted that and who has beaten yourself.
Don’t give your power away to someone else or to a word.
You are the Master of your own destiny, so take your power back and push forward.
Remember always the best revenge for “No” is to continue forward and still achieve your goal in spite of the word “No”.
“The only power the word "No" has is the power you give it.” - Chris Schenk
So why don't you choose to make the word "No" something positive? A starting point? The start of a conversation to find out what the person you're talking to really wants and needs?
If you want to combat the word "No" why don't you try following the word "No" with the word "Why".
Some examples of this would be:
No I can't do that for you.
- "Why" can't you do that for me? What is holding you back from doing that for me? How can I help you so that you can do what I've asked of you?
- Will you help me to understand? Will you explain it to me please? "Why" can't I understand it?
- I apologize, I thought you were someone who would enjoy a conversation while we waited.
- Thanks for your time, I'm sure someone you deserve will be along soon.
It makes people stop, think, and then take action to answer you.
If your goal is to have a conversation with someone then having them stop and think is a good thing and it is also a way of engaging them and bringing them into a conversation.
Of course the person can choose to engage or not with you in a conversation but most people when asked "Why" will engage.
Also if the person chooses to engage to give you an answer then whether they realize it or not you have already got them past the "No" and you are now having a conversation.
Now it's up to you to engage with that person and get to know them.
Remember "No" is just a word, the only power it has is what you give it.
Change your mind set about the word “No”, and you'll not only change your life but also the way you view the world around you.
Try this technique out and see if it works for you. See if it doesn't help you the next time you encounter the word "No".
*If it does work for you please pass this tip along to your friends and also please leave me a comment and let me know the situation you used it in and how it helped you.
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