Is There Anything That You Should've Let Go Of A Long Time Ago?

The question this week is...

"Is there anything that you should've let go of a long time ago but are still holding on to?"

I've thought a lot about this question as of late, even before I read it on the list of questions.

I think this is one of those questions that always hangs out in the back dark corner of our minds.

You know what I mean like those thoughts that are tied to smells or sounds.

Those thoughts that only come to us when we have been triggered by something else outside of ourselves.

As I thought and ponder my answer to this question there was many things that came to mind. But I think I finally settled on this one.

For me I think it's reading into what people say trying to find the hidden meaning or angle they are trying to work.

I've pretty much done this my whole life so it is almost second nature to me to do this without even really thinking about it.

While this have served me well at times in my life I think overall it has hindered me more then helped me and here is why I think that.

  • It takes a lot of brain power to constantly be analyzing everything that someone is saying.
  • It takes a lot of focus during conversations and interactions to put all of the clues together to try and figure out what they really mean.
  • It takes a lot of time to spend with someone to try and get the most clues possible to try and figure out what they are really up to or if I'm being played.
  • It takes a lot of memory to store this information and clues from people so each time we interact I've learned from them and can more easily figure out what they are up to.
  • It's very tiring and weighs on you mentally, emotionally, and such adds stress to you physically.
  • It's constantly being on your "A" game because you never know when they are going to try and get over on you.
  • It is constant vigilance in every conversation or interaction with another person.

It's like everyone you come in contact with is playing a card game of "War" with you (back and forth, and back and forth taking turns) but you are playing a game of "Chess".

Let's be honest it's very tiring and can wear even the strongest of people down over time.

Come on... Don't look at me like that I know I'm not the only one out there that might have this problem.

What's the cure, you might be asking yourself right now. 

Or maybe you're thinking to yourself I wonder how long he is going to draw this out till he just gives me the answer.

Either way, if you've read any of my previous posts you know that's not my style.

So let's get straight to the point.

The cure or best solution I have been able to come up with is this...

"Take people at face value for what they say."

If they come back to you and say well you should of done this or that I just thought that was implied. 

I just remind them...

"That's not what you said."

Then I leave it at that and move on. 

At that point it's their problem for not being clear with what they wanted or expected.  That is on them, not on me.

Once you start doing this and enforcing it you will see some changes happen in your life.

  • You'll notice you're not as stressed.
  • You'll feel like a weight has been lifted off of your back.
  • You wont be as tired physically.
  • You be able to have more natural conversations with people.
  • You won't have to remember as much because everything is being taken at face value.
  • Your outlook on people in general will improve.

These are just a few things that will change in your life. I am sure there are many more and if you are currently doing this already in your life then please feel free to leave in the comments some of the other ways this has helped you.

Last but not least my friends I want to stress the "enforcing" piece of this.

I not talking about using this as a boundary for other people when they interact with you. I'm talking about this from the sense of you enforcing it with yourself.

You can't control other people and you can't control if they are going to try to lie to you or get over on you in life. But what you can control is "You".

So do this for yourself.

Do this to make your life better. 

Not for anyone else or for any other reason then just to make your own life better and to take better care of yourself.

It's never easy, but I can tell you it will be worth it.

What would your answer be to this question? Leave me a comment and let me know.

Do me a favor before you go...

*If this post has brought you any value and you know of someone else who could get some value from this information please feel free to share it with them.

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