Is Being Loyal Still Relevant?

I've been thinking a lot over the past month or so about what I want to talk to you guys about today.

It's been in the back of my mind like a sharp needle that when you turn just right or tilt your head a certain way it sticks you and makes itself ever so painfully clear.
It's the topic of... LOYALTY.

I've been pondering for awhile also how I wanted to discuss this with you guys (I know it's a pretty uncommon thing in our society today.) and I came across something the other day that is short but sums it up and that is what I want to share and discuss with you today.

What I came across was a quote from Trent Shalton and it reads like this...

"Life has taught me that you can't control someone's loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean they'll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least."

So let me give you a few of my thoughts on what Trent had to say here then I'll leave you to the rest of your day.

The first line states that "Life has taught me that you can't control someone's loyalty." I think there is more to it than that.

I think that not only does life teach you this lesson but also the people who are in your life.

Control is a funny thing... As much as we would like to control others and our own outcomes in life, we learn we can't control either.

The amount of control we actually have in life is very minimal if you stop and think about it. 

What is it in life that you can actually control?

All we can control is our mind, our thoughts, our emotions, and our perspective on things. 

Everything else is outside of our control. 

As far as controlling loyalty... The only person's loyalty we can control is our own and that is to ourselves. Everyone else's loyalty will usually wane or stop when they get what they want from you or they no longer have a use for you.

That sounds sad, doesn't it?

Too bad it's true.

The next line is so very true... It doesn't matter how good you treat someone else if they don't value you and respect you anything you do for them won't mean anything to them. 

Sure it was nice of you to do that for them, but they won't feel any need to reciprocate if they don't value and respect you.

This goes back to something I mentioned not too long ago...

"In a world full of Takers, what are you?"

Most people are very, very good at taking. But very few are good at giving.

The next line is also painfully true when it comes to people and relationships.

Just because they mean something to you, just because you value them and want them to know your love and loyalty, doesn't mean that you hold any value to them at all.

They may say you hold value to them, but it's at those times that you will learn another important lesson in life.

That lesson is "Words are pointless unless they "Take Action" to back them up."

If there is anything I've learned as of late myself it is that people will say and tell you a lot of things, but if their actions don't back those words up or their actions tell you a different story then believe their actions, not their words.

The last sentence is pretty to the point, but just in case you want me to break it down for you even further here is what it means to me. 

Just because you love someone or think they are loyal to you doesn't mean you turn a blind eye, or you don't believe the actions that they show you. 

Last and final thought I want to leave you with besides this awesome quote from Trent is this...

If someone tells you they are "Sorry" and doesn't take steps to change, then the sorry was a lie and it is only being used to manipulate you. 

We all want to believe that people are sorry when they wrong us and that they truly do feel bad for what they have done to us.

But the reality of the matter is that unless they actively take steps to change what they have done the "sorry" was merely a lie and they don't really care about you at all.

People will only change for things they fear, respect, pain, value, or love.

So if they say they are sorry and they don't actively make any changes, then let their actions tell you exactly where you stand with them, and make your future decisions with them accordingly.

Before I leave I'd like to say "Thank You" to Trent Shalton for the great quote and for opening my eyes even further to the world around me.

*If this post has brought you any value and you know of someone else who could get some value from this information please feel free to share it with them.


  1. Love this! Especially ‘words are pointless unless they take action to back them up’. Thank you for sharing. Sorry without action just doesn’t cut it for me anymore.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Samira!! I couldn't agree with your comment more. I'm glad you enjoyed the post and it brought some value to you.

  2. Actions always speak louder than words!

  3. Enjoyed your quote and your words to change and take action and accountability is a BIG thing for me, actions speak louder than words in my life - thanks Chris