Reasons Why Saying You're Sorry Is Eating Away At Your Soul


I saw this quote awhile ago and it made me stop and think...

"For too much of my life, I've apologized when I wasn't wrong, all to make a situation better.  I'm not going to be that person anymore."  - Samantha King

Do you feel like you are always apologizing in life?

Do you feel like no matter what you do you are always the one who ends up apologizing to end the argument or to make a situation turn out better for the other person?

The sad thing about this is that most people don't realize is that by doing this one small thing you are slowly eating away at your self-respect and your soul.

I know, I know right now there are people out there reading this thinking to themselves... "Come on... your soul sounds pretty deep, is it really that big of a deal?"

If you are the one who is reading this and thinking that very thing right now... You're probably the one who is on the receiving end of an apology more times than not.  

So why would you see a problem when this is actually working in your favor?

That's right you wouldn't. 

So for everyone else who read those two questions and thought to themselves "Yeah, you might be on to something here."  The rest of the post is for you.

Why do you think you always apologize?

  • Is it because you were always taught that you needed to be nice.
  • Is it because you were taught that you don't always have to be right.
  • Is it because you were taught that in every situation someone needs to be sorry to end a conversation.
  • Is it because you were taught that even if you didn't do anything wrong someone had to say sorry.

It could be for any number of reasons, but does that mean it's right?

Does that mean that's the way it has to be?

No, it doesn't have to be that way at all.

A lot of us have been conditioned, trained, taught whatever you want to call it to be sorry to save other people's feelings and to end a confrontation.

That doesn't mean it's right or that is the way it needs to be.

As a matter of fact maybe the next time you feel like you should apologize maybe you shouldn't.

What about you always being the one who apologizes to make things better?

Let me be very clear with each and every one of you who is reading this post...

"Stop Apologizing for things that don't deserve or need an apology."  - CS

If you make a major mistake or do something that is really wrong then you should be the first in line to apologize and make amends for what you have done.

But if you haven't made a major mistake or done something really wrong stop saying you're sorry.

I don't care if the other person is standing there looking straight at you and is expecting an apology because you have always given them one in the past, don't say you're sorry.

Stop saying you're sorry for...

  • Breathing
  • Speaking
  • Living your life
  • Doing something "You" want to do
  • For telling the truth
  • For standing up for someone less fortunate or who can't stand up for themselves.
  • For standing your ground on something you believe in.
  • For looking at something that catches your eye.
  • For beauty, you see in the world today.
  • For having your own opinion or views on things.

As I said above only start saying "Sorry" if you've made a major mistake or you've done something really wrong. 

Quit being the doormat that everyone uses to get their daily dose of validation and apologetic energy from.

You're better than that, and you deserve to be treated better than that.

Believe me, people will look at you differently and people will ask you what's wrong with you. Because you aren't being their validation fix anymore, but pay them no mind and push forward.

Be sorry for the things that really matter in life and commit to yourself right here and now to stop being part of the "I apologize for everything because I want to make you feel better" culture that we have going on in the world today. 

Going forward commit to yourself and make yourself a promise that you will only apologize when you've made a major mistake, done something really wrong, or when you mean it.

Otherwise, let other people go seek their validation and apology fix from someone else who hasn't made this promise and commitment to themselves.

Stay Strong My Friends. I Know You Can Do This.

Quick side note: If you know other people that might be in the same boat as us then please feel free to send them the link to this post and encourage them to give it a read. Hopefully, it will help them as much as it has helped us.



  1. Wise words. I ended that problem last year.

  2. Years ago that person was me / Mrs Sorry
    Nope that stopped 20+ years ago, now I am Me
    and don’t have to fix someone else - it’s their job to fix themselves Thanks enjoyed the post